Achmed very sad today. All online friend missing! Were there day last, but now gone!

As big man in village, Achmed has many online friend. Achmed has friend in Pakistan, friend in

Afghanistan, friend in Detroit name of Stan (he big man at local mosque—like Achmed!).

With online friend, Achmed has many adventures! We share video, music, picture—, many thing!

Achmed share with online friend wedding video. (Much dancing!)

Online friend share with Achmed beheading video! (Achmed not like but what to do?)

Achmed say to online friend, “that Shakira, she da bomb!” (Achmed like curvy girl.)

Online friend say to Achmed, “for Sharia, we make bomb!” (She not curvy but heavy-handed.)

Achmed show online friend picture sun setting far away. (Hard to see with sand in eye!)

Online friend show Achmed picture favorite gun AK! (He have many—47, but none for Achmed!)

But now friend all go away. Evil imperialist infidel swine Twitter man say “account closed”. Evil imperialist infidel swine Facebook man say “page not found”. And strange man in scary mask say “all your account are belong to us” (not sure he infidel, but very scary to simple man like Achmed).

So Achmed very sad today. Local phone man say “Anonymous” (scary man) to blame for friend all go away. Achmed think name sound like Greek man with tail of mouse. Maybe go to Greek man house and ask for friend back. But first, Achmed need boat—and Syrian passport.

Peace be Upon You

Achmed Tashnab

Photo Credit: Brian Rinker