Joe Wilcox would rather vote for alien subjugators than either presidential candidate—hence Episode 69 title “American Apocalypse” for one of our funniest podcasts to date. Joe starts the episode by stepping back from the political arena and going to the musical/cultural stage: DesertTrip music festival, or as he tells Randall Kennedy, “Geezerpalooza”. The two-weekend, Indio, Calif. event—headlined by Bob Dylan, The Rolling Stones, and The Who—is meant for the over-50 set. But many attendees, and the performers, are in their Seventies.

“There’s nothing worse than a mosh pit full of people with colostomy bags”, Randall interjects. “That’s got to be the most disgusting thought in the world”. He envisions a fleet of ambulances, with emergency doctors and heart surgeons onsite and on call. 

The cohosts eventually discuss the second Presidential Debate, on the day after. Joe calls Donald Trump the “stupidest motherfrakker on the planet” for threatening to put Hillary Clinton in jail should he be elected. “If he loses, his life is over”. She will retaliate with IRS and other investigations. “He’s gonna feel like those aliens had stuck one of those microprobes up his butt”.

Randall calls the debate a “cage match; it was ugly”.

The two spend some time discussing Trump’s pussy comment video from several cultural, social, and subtle—yes subtle—perspectives. The latter refers to, as Randall observes, the name of the $1,100 Gucci blouse worn by Melania Trump during the debate. “It’s called the Pussy Bow. I kid you not…She wore that, I think, as a big FU to everybody who is criticizing her husband”.

These snippets do little to capture the brazen snark that makes episode 69 worth 60 minutes of your life. If you feel short of breathe from laughing too hard, dial 9-1-1—and hope the ambulances aren’t all dispatched to Geezerpalooza.

Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore