Gobble, gobble, and Happy Thanksgiving, ye Americans. For Episode 82, Randall Kennedy and Joe Wilcox hand out their first Turkey Awards—extemporaneously, without any preparation. Joe has one he believes “devout atheist” Randall will appreciate. Hint: “I’m God”.

Florida residents get three different Birds—one gent for answering: “Is it possible to run myself over with my own car?” Amazingly, yes, says Randall. Joe awards a Turkey to a Floridian who shoots people in the leg when they overstay their welcome. Like they can LEAVE after being wounded in the limb. 

Randall gives the Bird to Barack Obama for awarding the Presidential Medial of Freedom to several celebrities. That’s “something you give to someone like Sully Sullenberger, not Tom Hanks who played Sully Sullenberger in a movie”, Randall rants. “So Obama was confused”, Joe interjects. “He confused the actor with the real-life guy”.

Special award goes to the fruit bats that terrorize Randall’s Audi with their acid-like poop—and the list goes on. The Turkey Day podcast is perfectly suited to those first few minutes following your annual gluttony before falling asleep after slouching into the couch.

Photo Credit: Susanne Nilsson